Month: <span>August 2016</span>

Teen Depression - Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling
Depression • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Teen Depression

Teens and Depression

Sleeping too much, irritability, mood swings these are all descriptors of adolescence. Depending on the severity they can also be depression symptoms.  Teenagers face a lot of challenges as they juggle figuring out who they are, while trying to fit in with peers. Also, teen depression goes beyond moodiness, and can be a serious problem.  It is difficult to parse what might be normal for teens.

Learn about signs of teenage depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health problems in adolescence. Contrary to what parents might expect teens with depression usually don’t just seem sad or mopey—They often seem irritable, and angry.  Agitation and irritability are some of the most common symptoms of teen depression.

Common symptoms of teen depression

  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Sadness or a feeling of hopelessness
  • Anxiety
  • Staying awake at night and sleeping during the day
  • Sudden drop in grades
  • Use of alcohol or drugs and promiscuous sexual activity
  • Withdrawal from friends and or family
  • Irritability, anger, or hostility
  • Tearfulness or frequent crying
  • Loss of interest in activities
  • Fatigue or lack of energy
  • Sleep too much or too little
  • Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
  • Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

Suicide and Teen Depression

Severely depressed teens often think and talk about killing themselves. A terrifying amount of teenage suicide attempts are successful.  Additionally, it is important for any talk or attempt of suicide to be taken very seriously.  Also depressed teenagers are at particularly higher risk for actually completing suicide, and therefore should be watched closely any signs of suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

Red Flags for Teen Depression and Suicide

  • Talking about or joking about suicide or dying
  • Risky or reckless behavior, like driving erratically, or doing other dangerous things
  • Writing a suicide note
  • Having or talking about a plan to kill themselves
  • Giving away prized possession
  • Seeking access to firearm, pills, knife or other ways to implement a plan to kill themselves
  • Speaking positively about their death, “My family would be happier if I was just dead.”
  • Saying goodbye to friends and families as if for the last time

If your teen is doing any of these things, don’t wait call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or take your teen to an emergency room to be evaluated. September is national suicide prevention awareness month. Please take some time this month to talk to your teen about how they’re feeling, check in with them and let them know you’re there.

 

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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Child Anxiety Therapist Portage MI
Anxiety School • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Helping Children with back to school Anxiety

Back to School Anxiety

The first day of school is an exciting time for children and parents. The sudden change in routine, mixed with the demands of the classroom can be tough on kids and their parents.  The hustle and bustle of getting ready for school on time and preparing to separate from mom or dad can amplify stress and anxiety for kids.  Separating for some children can be very challenging and incrediably distressing. For children who are already anxious, here are five ways to help relieve back to school anxiety.

Meet the Teacher

One of the biggest fears that anxious children have when they are going to a new class room is will I like my new teacher? Many schools prior to the start of the school year have a social night for new students to become acquainted with their new teacher, and classroom.  For children with anxiety reducing the unknown of who they will be spending their school day with prior to the start of the school year can help.

Tour the School

For children going to a school for the first time, or even a new room spending some extra time before school start tour the school is important. Knowing where their class or classes are before they’re expected to be “on-time” can reduce the panic of getting lost.  Some familiarity with the layout of the school will help ease some of the anxiety of going back to school but also help them have something to look forward to.

Prepare Sleep and Wake Routines

During summertime children sleep schedules relax. Bedtime in the summer is more flexible and adjusts for the energy spent during the day and the plans for tomorrow.  When school starts the importance of re-establishing a consistent bedtime is important.  The routine of knowing when bedtime is and when they wake up helps anxious children plan out their mornings and avoid feeling rushed in the morning.  Getting children ready for their school-year bedtime is good to start the week before school starts to help them adjust so that’s it one less change during the start of the school year.

Let children know what to expect

Along with having a consistent bed time, it is helpful for children with anxiety to have a clear plan of what expect during the school week. This includes knowing when the alarm is going off, when the school bus arrives, to when lunch and dismissal is.  For children who don’t read time, simply knowing the order of things helps the day become more predictable.

Talk to your child his or her feelings

Most importantly talk to your child about how they are feeling about school starting. What are they worried about, what are they excited about?  This is something that is helpful to do at the start of the school year and through the entire year.  Helping children talk about their worries helps them process and plan.  Checking in with them regularly (daily) is important help them handle anxiety in the moment, but also know before small problems become big problems.  Connecting with children about their anxiety with school gives them someone to go to when they need help.

 If you’d like to talk with someone about your child’s school anxiety contact us now for a free consultation.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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anxiety symptoms in children
Anxiety Child Counseling • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Anxiety Symptoms in Children

Anxiety symptoms in young children

Anxiety symptoms can look very different in younger kids than in adults. It can be difficult determining what is developmentally normal and what should be cause for concern.  Likewise some worry and stress is not problematic.

Asking for reassurance repeatedly

Examples of young children asking for reassurance may look like them repeatedly asking you to look over their homework, even though they’ve made no errors. Some children who are looking for reassurance will repeatedly call home from school to hear from their parents that they’re okay.  They may want to be told that he or she is a good boy or girl.  Asking for reassurance is a queue for parents that their child is worrying about what they are asking for reassurance with.  Asking for reassurance is a common anxiety symptom.

Trouble sleeping at night

Many children have trouble sleeping for lots of different reasons. One reason why some children struggle with sleep is that they are unable to let go things that they are worrying about.  Kids who worry to the point where it interferes with sleep may have anxiety.  I previously wrote a blog post about how to help children with anxiety sleep better.

Trouble concentrating

This is not always thought of as an anxiety symptom.  It can be difficult to tell why a child is not able to attend or concentrate at school. Some children have neurodevelopmental disorder like Attention Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder (ADHD) and have difficulty attending.  However, kids who are worrying or preoccupied with anxious thoughts at school may also have trouble concentrating.

Restlessness or being on edge

Some anxious children just seem to explode out of nowhere. They may seem irritable or grumpy.  Children who are chronically worried are oftentimes overwhelmed.  For a child with an anxiety a seemingly mild or small stressor may be just enough to overwhelm what they were previously just barely managing to handle.

Most common anxiety disorders and their symptoms

Separation Anxiety – Age inappropriate stress and anxiety over separating from caregiver. This sort of anxiety interferes with a child’s ability to actually separate, or how they function when they have separated.  Some children with separation anxiety disorder cannot separate to attend school or daycare, or need to sleep in their parent’s bed at night.

Generalized Anxiety – This is one the most common anxiety disorders in children. These children worry excessively about many things like school, health, safety or family members. They may always think of the worst that could happen. Some children have physical symptoms, like headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, or tiredness

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – This is commonly thought of when people think of veterans coming back from war. PTSD in children can be result of any number of traumatic events, such as a car crash, physical or sexual abuse, being exposed to violence, medical trauma, the list goes on.  Common symptoms of PTSD in children include always being on the lookout, thinking about the traumatic thing that happened when they don’t want to, sleep disturbances, fear or avoidance of reminders of the traumatic event.

Social Anxiety – This is often characterized by children avoiding or becoming distressed in situations where are required to interact with others. Social anxiety can be triggered in children when they’re required to speak or perform in front of others.

Phobias – These are intense, often irrational fears of people, places or things. Common phobias include driving, dogs, flying on an airplanes or heights.  Children with phobias desperately avoid, or become distressed when exposed to whatever they fear.

If you’d like to talk with someone about your child’s anxiety symptoms contact us now for a free consultation.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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kalamazoo child therapy
Challenging children Parenting • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Tantrums and Challenging Children

Challenging Child and Temper Tantrums

Does your child have sudden or frequent outbursts of anger or frequent tantrums? It can be difficult in the moment to think about how to help a child who’s having a tantrum.  It is easy for parents to get caught up in their own emotions:  like being frustrated or embarrassed that your child is acting like this or wondering what other people might think if they see your child acting like this.  Sometimes parents just feel helpless in the midst of their child’s outburst.  I often recommend to parents that its important to think about how you help your child while their tantruming in context of what we know about kids and their brains.

Dr. Daniel Siegel talks about the brain as having an upstairs and downstairs. The upstairs of the brain is the part of the brain is responsible for: decision making, planning evaluating decisions, empathy and morality.  Whereas the downstairs brain is responsible for: automatic reactions, and impulses (like fight/flight/freeze), and strong emotions like anger and fear.  Throughout childhood and into young adulthood the upstairs brain is under construction.  When challenging children tantrum the downstairs brain hijacks the upstairs brain.  Another way to think about upstairs and downstairs brain is to think about the accelerator (downstairs) and brakes (upstairs) of a car.

Here are three quick tips that parents should remember when their child is having a tantrum.

3 Ways to help children with tantrums:

Stay calm

Our brains work in pretty incredible ways. For example mirror neurons fire or activate in our brains in response to observing the behavior of others.  This means that our brain activates in a way that is similar to the person who we’re observing.  By being calm and grounded while your child is throwing a tantrum you will radiate to him safety and calmness that will help your child use the brakes of his or her brain.  Think of this as being an emotional anchor for you child while they are in the midst of their tantrum.

Avoid Negotiation or Threats

It very easy to try to appeal to children’s rational selves when they’re upset, or try to engage the upstairs the brain in negotiation –If you don’t stop screaming, you’re going to be grounded. It’s important to remember that when children are flooded with emotions (the accelerator is pedal to the metal) the brakes just don’t work.  In these moments parents need to be the brakes for their children, and focus on helping their child calm down to the point where they can engage the upstairs of their child’s brain.

Prepare for situations that are known to be difficult

In a previous post I talked about how challenging children aren’t challenging all of the time. There are times when they have difficulty and times when they don’t.  If we pay close attention to what precedes challenging episode, parents’ can predict situations that difficult for children.  For example, if you know your child has a difficult time transitioning from dance class to heading the car and going home you can plan additional ways to support him or her being successful: like by reminding him or her a few minutes before its time to leave, or by allowing extra time between transitions so not to have to rush.  When we plan for difficult situations we can help children be successful and reduce tantrums.

Sometimes parents benefit from support or coaching around managing behavior problems in young children.  PCIT or Parent-Child Interaction Therapy is an evidenced-based treatment for young children (2-7) with behavioral problems.

Reference:

Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. New York: Delacorte Press.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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child counseling
Child Counseling Parenting By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Child Counseling

Child Counseling: How can I tell if my child should go to therapy?

So you’re thinking about counseling for your child, and you’re wondering, “Maybe it’s just phase,” or “It doesn’t seem that bad.”  By the nature of growing up, children are learning new things all of the time. With growth come bumps along the way.  Additionally, it can be difficult to tell if your child’s behaviors are normal and should cause no alarm, or if it might be time to talk to you child about counseling.  It can also be difficult to tell if a child is just going through a phase or if their emotional distress is normal. Most child counseling involves the family to some degree or another. At Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, we greatly stress the importance of parents being involved in their child’s counseling. Parents can think about their child’s life in three main areas to help determine if they might need counseling.

How does your child behave at home?

  • Do you and your child fight? How intense are the fights?  How long does it take for your child to “bounce back?”
  • Does your child frequently fight or argue with siblings? How intensely do they fight and how long does it take for your child to recover from these fights?
  • Is your child withdrawn or isolating himself or herself from the family?
  • Do you and your child have the relationship that you want?

Child and Family Counseling can help build relationships between parents and children or siblings with siblings. Additionally, evaluating how children do at home is important to think about when you are considering counseling for your child.  This is especially true because the relationships that children have with their parents is a profound predictor of how they do long term.

How does your child do socially and at school?

How children do at school and in their social groups is another thing that parents should think about when they’re considering counseling. Some questions that parents should ask themselves when wondering if they should take their child to counseling are:

  • Is my child performing to his or her best abilities in school?
  • Does he or she have trouble focusing?
  • Does my child get into fights at school with peers or teachers?
  • Does my child have a difficult time making friends?
  • Do I routinely get notified of my child’s misbehavior at school?
  • Does my child frequently skip or not put in effort at school?

How does your child do in his or her personal life?

Children’s mental health is often evaluated in the context of how they’re doing at school or with family.  Also, It is important to think about your child as an individual.  Here are some questions that parents should ask themselves about their child as well:

  • Is my child generally sad or express general boredom like he or she is unable to be interested in anything?
  • Does my child seem anxious or frequently worried? Does he or she sleep too little or too much?
  • Does my child have poor self-esteem or lack confidence?
  • Making the decision to take your child to counseling can be difficult. If your child is having problems with one or two of the problems listed above it would make sense to think about talking to a professional.

Here are some things that should always be taken seriously and indicate a more urgent need for child counseling:

  1. Your child talks about wanting to die or commit suicide. Always take children talking about suicide seriously.  Call 911 or take your child to the nearest emergency room if you’re worried about your child’s safety.
  2. Your child has disclosed being sexually abused.
  3. Your child is using drugs or alcohol.
  4. Your child is engaging in self-harming behavior (cutting/burning his or herself. Binging or restricting food, etc).

 

Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling offers child counseling in addition to support for frustrated parents.  Call or email for a free consultation.  Navigating these sorts of decisions is difficult and parents don’t need to do it alone.

 

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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family counseling kalamazoo
Family Counseling Parenting • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Family Counseling – Is it right for you and yours?

Family Counseling is a specific kind of counseling that focuses on helping families improve their relationships with one another and get along. It’s different from individual counseling in that the counseling often involves one or more people from a family at time, and that individual problems are seen in the context of family’s that are experiencing some problems.

3 Things Family Counseling can Help with:

  1. Improving your family’s ability solve problems together, and express thoughts and feelings appropriately.
  2. Explore family roles, and behavior patterns that lead to conflict, and make changes to help the family get along
  3. Identify your family strengths—like being there for one another, and weaknesses like difficulty talking about your feelings with one another.

Parents are such an important part of children’s therapy. Because of this at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, we believe that to some degree all child therapy is family therapy, because we know that parents can be the greatest healers in children’s lives.

Family therapy is built off the belief that individuals in a family are connected, and important to one another. Additionally, when one person in the family is struggling there is a direct impact on the rest of the family.  This is especially true for challenging children and frustrated parents.

Questions to ask yourself if you’re considering counseling for your family:

  1. Am I happy with the relationships that I have with my spouse or children?
  2. Does my family enjoy spending time with one another?
  3. Is there frequent conflict between family members that gets in the way of us enjoying one another (fighting)?
  4. Was there a big or sudden change in the family?
  5. Am I happy with how my spouse and I co-parent?

Reflecting on whether or not therapy is right for your family is important, and may take some time.  If you’re wondering if family therapy is right for your family please contact us.  Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling is passionate about helping parents and children get along.

 

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

Read more

helping children with anxiety sleep
Anxiety Parenting • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Anxiety and Sleep: How to help young children with anxiety sleep better

5 Tips for helping children with anxiety sleep better

Many children with anxiety have trouble sleeping. In today’s post, I wanted to write about specific things parents can do to help their young child fall asleep. Often children with anxiety or PTSD (those struggling with traumatic stress) have sleep problems.  Sometimes children with anxiety have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.  Finally, some children have frequent nightmares that also make  nighttime hard. Here are some tips to make nighttime easier for everyone.

Set the stage for sleep

Have your child’s room cool and dark. A warm bath an hour or two before bed will also help. Drops in temperature help signal the body that its time sleep.  Helping to make sure kids are comfortable is one of the first steps in helping alleviate sleep trouble.

Remove distractions

There’s a lot of research showing that TV, video games, tablets and phones are very stimulating. It’s difficult to get kids ready to sleep when they’re amped up by an exciting cartoon, or worse, a scary movie.  Consider unplugging a few hours before bed to help kids get prepared for sleep.

Limit excitement and physical exercise

Physical exercise is great for kids, but not right before bed. Part of getting  children with anxiety ready for bed is helping them get calm enough to sleep. Additionally, soothing, nurturing activities are very helpful for kids with trouble sleeping.  Try snuggling and reading a book together or doing something else together that is calming.

Creating a night time routine to reduce anxiety

Having a night time ritual is one the single more important things parents can do to help anxious or worried children sleep. The night time ritual should be very consistent.  I tell parents that it should be a routine you can set your watch to, despite how hectic the day may have been.   Routine helps create safety and predictability, both of which help children with anxiety or nightmares relax before bed.

Lights out with a song or book

Saying good night after finishing a story time or lullaby is a wonderful way to end a night time routine that focuses on helping anxious or traumatized kids feel safe before bed. Both songs and stories can help lower the arousal in kids, which helps their brains know it’s time sleep.

In closing, making these relaxing activities part of a predictable night time ritual is very important in helping ease children into sleep. Helping children with anxiety sleep better requires lots of patience and routine.  Hopefully these 5 tips for helping children with anxiety sleep better is a good place for your family to start.

 

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

Read more