Category: <span>Grief and Loss</span>

TF-CBT Kalamazoo
Child Counseling Grief and Loss PTSD • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

What is Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)?

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) is a widely used and effective therapy. TF-CBT helps children ages 3-18 years-old and their families who are struggling with the effects of trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  Multiple randomized clinical trials have prove TF-CBT’s effectiveness.  TF-CBT is a gold-standard treatment for addressing trauma in children.  The California Evidenced Based Clearinghouse for Child Welfare gives its highest rating for TF-CBT as an evidenced-based treatment for children impacted by trauma.  When children or adolescents have gone through trauma they may experience a combination of any of the following: intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety, mistrust, depression, troubles with sleep, aggression, and various other symptoms.

Types of Trauma addressed by TF-CBT

Types of trauma commonly treated by TF-CBT include sexual abuse or assault, physical abuse, a sudden or traumatic death, violence at home or in the community, a natural or man-made disaster, a car accident, community violence and animal attacks.

What makes  it work?

There are two major components of TF-CBT that make it work: parent/caregiver involvement and a concept called gradual exposure. Parent/caregiver involvement can include meeting one-on-one with the therapist, or meeting at least a part of every session.  These meetings are intended to help therapists and parents be on the same page about current symptoms and parental concerns. This is also a wonderful time to educate parents about trauma and its impact on children.  It also can also be a good time address any of their child’s difficult behaviors, emotional outbursts, and safety concerns.

Gradual exposure includes intentional exploration of trauma reminders for the purpose of achieving desensitization to them. Gradual exposure begins with small intentional doses and is increased over time.  In TF-CBT, gradual exposure does not mean children need to immediately talk about what happened.  Humans don’t usually throw children in the deep end to teach them to swim.  To use the swimming analogy again, we get used to the temperature of the water before going under.  In the first sessions of TF-CBT, clients will receive education about common effects of the specific trauma they went through and by the end of treatment they will have created a narrative about what they went through and how they were impacted by it. The narrative, along with the other forms of gradual exposure, helps the child and family to reduce their avoidance and other PTSD symptoms.  There any many myths about PTSD and children, gradual exposure is an important part of PTSD treatment.

Steps of TF-CBT

First, children and adolescents will learn about trauma and how it commonly impacts people. They will learn relaxation skills to help them calm down when they are anxious, mad, etc. Next, kids will learn healthy ways to identify and express their feelings. Then, the child or adolescent will learn strategies to change negative or unhelpful thoughts to ones that are more positive, or helpful.  This is especially important for “stinking thinking” related to the traumatic event. Once children and teens gain confidence in these skills, they will move into creating a story about the trauma they experienced. The narrative will include some general information about the client, what happened before, during, and after the traumatic event(s), their feelings and thoughts surrounding the trauma, and what advice they would give to other kids like them. Once the narrative is completed, it is usually shared with the parent or caregiver in a conjoint session. Further sessions will address any triggers that may be inhibiting the child or adolescent, finding ways to overcome them, and increasing safety for the family as they move forward.

Kylie Bader and Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Kylie Bader was an Intern from Western Michigan Univeristy’s School of Social Work.  Her graduate studies including trauma across the lifespan, and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo therapy

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, Mattawan, and the South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes providing play therapy with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

grief counseling kalamazoo
Child Counseling Grief and Loss Parenting • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Grief and Kids : 5 things every grieving child wants their parent to know

The death of family member, friend or significant person in a child’s life is a terrible loss.  Your child may have child lost someone to cancer over the course of time, or suddenly through a heart attack, car accident or suicide. However the loss happened, grief is a challenging time for children.  What we know about grieving children is that big feelings come and go like waves.  It can be challenging for parents and caregivers to know what to do and what to say to children who are clearly hurting.

Grief is normal

Grief is a normal process for children who have lost someone special to them.  When children lose someonenwho has played a major role in their life it is normal for them to struggle. The absence of the person takes time to fully sink in and children often continue to miss the loved one for a while.  Children don’t just “get over” a person’s death, but they do adjust to the new normal.

 

Children should know the truth.

Many parents and caregivers want to protect their children from the difficulties of that come with death.  Often we avoid words like “dead” or “die.”  Although it is hard to share the truth about how someone died, honest answers help build trust and provide understanding to children.  Children are very smart and often will fill in information that they imagine with information they have learned.  Often in our best attempt to shield children from pain we are encouraging unhelpful imaginations to run wild. Telling children the truth about death and dying is important and should be balanced with what is developmentally appropriate.

 

Children should be told what to expect.

Between funerals, wakes and burials, there are a lot of new experiences for children when someone dies.  The decision for whether or not a child should attend a funeral is very specific to the development of the child. Attending a funeral can provide closure to some children yet may frighten and confuse others. These decisions are not ones the can be made easily or quickly and should be carefully considered.

Grieving children often feel alone.

Often adults who are well meaning avoid talking about the deceased person in fear that doing so will make the grief that a child has for a loved one worse.  By doing this there is the risk of encouraging children not to talk about their loss or to think they shouldn’t show grief.  It is helpful to children when grownups acknowledge the grief that everyone is feeling.  When children don’t feel like they can talk about their grief that may wonder, “Am I handling this right?”  “Is there something wrong with me because this is still bothering me?”

 

Every child grieves differently.

There is no set way that we know kids handle the loss of a loved one.  What we do know is that the relationship a child has with the person who died matters.  Just as their relationship was unique so is the way that a child will grieve.  Some grieving children want to talk about the person who died.  Other children actively avoid any and all reminders of the person.  Children express grief differently.

Grief Counseling for children can help

Grief that doesn’t seem to get better with time may be sign that your child may benefit from outside assistance in dealing with the loss.  For children whose grief is getting in the way of being successful at school, or every day life,  therapy that focuses on making sense of the loss, or processing the grief may be needed.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, Mattawan, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

Read more