Month: <span>July 2016</span>

Camp helps kids grow ( and lessen anxiety and depression in kids)
Parenting • • • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

How summer camp can help kids grow

In college I spent many summers teaching kids kayaking and rock climbing. It was a wonderful experience where I learned a lot about kids and the power of nature to heal and help children grow. With kids having more and more screen time, and less and less out-door time it’s easy to forget about the benefits of kids being outside. There’s a growing body of research about the benefits of children playing outside in nature.  Children who don’t go outdoors are at higher risks for anxiety, depression, and attention deficit problems (Louv, 2005).  Summer camp is a wonderful way for kids to spend time outside in nature being playful and adventurous.  Here are five reasons why kids being outside, spending  time at camp is good for parents, and helps kids grow.

5 ways Camp helps kids grow

Teaching social skills

Summer camp can be a great place for children who are struggling with making friends, communicating their ideas, asking for help, and other social skills. Through play and structured activities, they’ll be interacting with peers their age and work on making friends in a supportive and safe environment.  They’ll spends lots of time with peers and have plenty of chances to practicing being a good friend or helping others.

Teaching teamwork

Children have to share space with other kids at camp; they’ll divvy up cabin tasks through compromise and negotiation. They’ll work towards common goals and accomplish things as a member of a team. They’ll win or lose together in a game of capture the flag.  At times they’ll be leaders and learn assertiveness skills, and other times they’ll learn the importance of being a team member.  Knowing how to function as a part of team is an invaluable skill for kids to have as they move on to join sports team, participate in theater or eventually get jobs.

Build self-esteem in children with depression

Camp provides supportive opportunities for children to be appropriately challenged and experience success. Kids who struggle with depression may have feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem and thoughts of not-being “good enough.”  The rock wall at camp may seem like a fun obstacle, but for some children it can be experience where they did something they didn’t think they could do, where they learned they are stronger, and braver than they ever imagined.

Healthy risk-taking for children with anxiety

Evaluating risk is a very important skill for children to learn. Overly anxious children may be reluctant to take safe risks.  At camp they’ll be challenged to confront fears and anxiety.  They’ll learn that it’s safe to separate from family and that they can be independent.  Camp can help kids learn to challenge themselves, and learn when it’s the right time to sit something out.

Everyone wins when kids go to camp

Ever wonder why passengers on airplanes are told to help themselves first when the oxygen masks drop down? Parents need to take care of themselves to take good care of kids. When kids and their parents have healthy breaks (called respite) they enjoy each other’s company more, and are able to have quality time together.  Remember, when children go to camp they’re not just playing kickball or kayaking. They’re being taught skills that help them in life. Also it provides parents an opportunity to recharge their batteries and take care of themselves. Everyone wins when kids go to camp

Reference:

Louv, R. (2005). Last child in the woods: Saving our children from nature-deficit disorder. Chapel Hill, NC: Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill.

 

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder - Child Counseling Kalamazoo
Parenting • • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Challenging Children: a New perspective on Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Viewing behavioral challenged differently:  Helping Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and other behavioral challenged kids

Disruptive, manipulator, attention-seeking, stubborn, spoiled-brat, resistant, button-pusher, defiant, and bad kid.  These are all descriptions that are used for behaviorally challenging children by frustrated adults. Oftentimes challenging children are diagnosed with psychiatric disorders, such as oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), bipolar disorder, reactive attachment disorder (RAD) or conduct disorder (CD).  While these diagnoses serve to validate that your child is challenging in a way that is remarkable, they do not always help in getting to the root of the problem.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder or  lacking skills – Kids do well, if they can. 

Ross Greene, Ph.D, psychologist, and author of The Explosive Child believes that  Kids do well, if they can.  Even challenging children are doing the best they can in the midst of a explosive episode.  The idea that children choose to throw a tantrum, scream and cry for hours is simply untrue.  What does a kid get out of crying for two hours, getting a headache, and feeling so sick that they feel like they need to throw-up?  The answer is: nothing.

The solution

The idea that kids do well if they can is a wonderful perspective that allows parents of challenging children to see their child’s behavior with compassion and patience.  Additionally, challenging children and their parents need to be on the same team.  The alternative perspective is an adversarial one, where kids are being willful and naughty to spite their parents. In short, this sets up kids and parents to be opposite ends of the field.  The good news is that when we look at a child’s behaviors closely, it’s clear that parents can help their challenging child in a way that no one else can.

Most challenging children don’t misbehave all of the time, only some of the time. Looking at when and why they misbehave is important to understanding how parents can help.

Common reasons why challenging children misbehave:

  1. Lacking or delayed socio-emotional skills: These children often lag in skills needed in a situation where their peers are more adept. Like being flexible, having frustration tolerance, or having problem solving skills. Simply put, you can think of lagging skills as the answer to WHY do children misbehave?
  2. Unsolved Problems: These are situations in which there are demands or expectations that overwhelm the skills a child has to respond appropriately.  Most importantly, identifying unsolved problems answers the question, WHEN do children misbehave.

By  identifying lagging skills, and unsolved problems, parents can work collaboratively to help challenging children solve their problems proactively. Ultimately, helping children with oppositional defiant disorder, and other behavioral disorders begins with viewing their challenging behavior in the context of when and why.   Sometimes parent benefit from coaching and support around managing difficult or challenging behaviors in children.   Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is an evidenced based treatment for young children (2-7) with behavioral problems.

References:

Greene, R. W. (2014). The explosive child: A new approach for understanding and parenting easily frustrated, “chronically inflexible” children (5th ed.). New York: HarperCollins.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

Read more