Category: <span>Challenging children</span>

Challenging children Child Counseling Family Counseling Parenting By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Unlocking a Brighter Future: The Profound Benefits of Child Counseling

Childhood is a time of wonder, discovery, and growth, but it can also be a period of challenges and uncertainties. Every child navigates a unique journey, facing various emotional, social, and psychological hurdles along the way. In such moments, child counseling emerges as a guiding light, offering a range of invaluable benefits that foster emotional well-being, resilience, and personal growth. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the transformative advantages of child counseling and explore how it can unlock a brighter future for the youngest members of our society.

Emotional Expression and Regulation

Children often lack the verbal skills and emotional vocabulary to express their feelings and concerns effectively. Counseling provides them with a safe and non-judgmental space to articulate their emotions, whether it’s sadness, anger, fear, or confusion. By learning to recognize and express their feelings, children develop essential emotional regulation skills that empower them to cope with challenges in healthier ways.

Enhanced Self-Esteem and Confidence

Childhood experiences significantly shape a child’s self-esteem and self-worth. Through counseling, children can explore their strengths, talents, and unique qualities, which in turn fosters a positive self-image. A skilled counselor helps children identify and challenge negative self-perceptions, allowing them to develop a strong sense of self-confidence that lays the foundation for a more resilient future.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can improve self-esteem and positive self-talk.

Effective Communication Skills

Clear and effective communication is a crucial life skill. Child counseling equips young minds with the tools to express themselves, their needs, and their boundaries assertively and respectfully. These communication skills extend to interactions with family, peers, and authority figures, setting the stage for healthier relationships throughout their lives.

Coping Strategies and Problem-Solving

Childhood is peppered with challenges, both big and small. Learning effective coping strategies early on empowers children to navigate stressors and setbacks with grace. In counseling, children discover a repertoire of coping mechanisms that suit their individual needs, including mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and creative outlets like art or play therapy. Moreover, they develop problem-solving skills that enable them to tackle challenges with resilience and confidence.

Social and Emotional Intelligence

Navigating complex social dynamics and understanding others’ emotions are vital skills for any child. Child counseling helps children develop empathy, emotional intelligence, and social awareness, fostering better relationships with peers and family members. These skills are essential for successful collaboration, teamwork, and maintaining healthy friendships throughout their lives.

Healing from Trauma

Children may encounter traumatic events that deeply affect their well-being and development. Child counseling provides a safe environment for processing and healing from traumatic experiences, allowing children to regain a sense of security and normalcy. Early intervention can significantly reduce the long-term impact of trauma and prevent potential psychological challenges down the road.  TF-CBT is well researched and evidence-based treatment for PTSD.

Academic Success

Emotional well-being and academic performance are closely intertwined. Children who receive counseling are better equipped to manage stress and anxiety related to schoolwork. By addressing underlying emotional challenges, child counseling enhances a child’s ability to focus, concentrate, and engage in the learning process, ultimately paving the way for improved academic achievement.

Conclusion

Child counseling is a profound investment in a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. By offering a space for emotional expression, confidence-building, communication skill development, and trauma healing, counseling empowers children to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace. The benefits of child counseling extend far beyond childhood, influencing future relationships, academic success, and overall happiness. As parents, caregivers, and educators, it is our responsibility to recognize the importance of child counseling and provide our young ones with the support they need to thrive.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo therapy
 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, Mattawan, and South West Michigan areas. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at-risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment, and trauma-related disorders.

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Challenging children Child Counseling Family Therapy Parenting By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Using the PRIDE Skills during Play

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is an evidence-based treatment that aims to improve the relationship between a parent and their child. One of the key components of PCIT is the use of PRIDE skills, which are techniques that help parents build positive interactions with their children. In this blog post, we’ll take a closer look at the PRIDE skills in PCIT and how they can benefit both parents and children.

PRIDE stands for praise, reflect, imitate, describe, and enjoy. Let’s break down each of these skills and explore how they can be used in PCIT:

Praise: This skill involves giving specific and positive feedback to your child for their good behavior. Praise can help build your child’s confidence, encourage positive behavior, and strengthen your relationship with them. When using praise in PCIT, it’s important to be specific about what behavior you’re praising and to use an enthusiastic tone of voice. For example, “Great job sharing your toys with me!”

Reflect: This skill involves repeating back to your child what they’ve said to you, to show that you’re listening and to help your child feel understood. Reflecting can help your child feel heard and validated, and can also help prevent misunderstandings. When using reflection in PCIT, it’s important to use the same words your child used and to maintain a calm and supportive tone of voice.

Imitate: This skill involves copying your child’s behavior to show that you’re interested in what they’re doing and to help them feel connected to you. Imitating can help your child feel validated and can also encourage positive behavior. When using imitation in PCIT, it’s important to be playful and lighthearted and to follow your child’s lead. For example, if your child is playing with blocks, you might start building your own tower.

Describe: This skill involves narrating your child’s behavior to help them learn new words and concepts, and to encourage positive behavior. Describing can help your child feel heard and understood, and can also help them develop their language skills. When using description in PCIT, it’s important to be specific about what your child is doing and to use a supportive and encouraging tone of voice. For example, “You’re stacking the blue block on top of the red block!”

Enjoy: This skill involves having fun with your child and enjoying positive experiences together. Enjoying can help build your relationship with your child and can also help them develop positive memories. When using enjoyment in PCIT, it’s important to be present in the moment and to focus on having fun with your child. For example, you might play a game together, go for a walk, or have a special snack together.

By using the PRIDE skills in PCIT, parents can strengthen their relationship with their child and encourage positive behavior. These skills can also help parents develop their own parenting skills, improve their communication with their child, and reduce their own stress and frustration. Overall, the PRIDE skills are an essential component of PCIT and can benefit both parents and children in many ways.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo therapyJeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, Mattawan, and the South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at-risk youth. His clinical expertise includes providing play therapy with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma-related disorders.

Challenging children Child Counseling Family Counseling Family Therapy Parenting • • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

5 Ways to Communicate With Kids Effectively

Sometimes, it can be difficult to talk to kids in effective ways that promote growth and understanding. Below are five tips to help you communicate more successfully with children.

Understand when to connect and disconnect

Every person needs time to be with others and to be alone. It is helpful to communicate with kids when adults need time to themselves. This way, adults set boundaries and kids can learn to as well through the adults’ examples.

Take ownership for your part

When repairs need to be made in a relationship, it is important for adults to be the ones to make amends. The adult can start by taking responsibility for their part of the issue. This teaches kids to take ownership for their actions or words as they see the adult doing this again and again.

Ask clarifying questions

If things are difficult to understand as the adult, ask the child questions to be able to really comprehend where they are coming from. This can be done by reflecting what they said or by summarizing what they communicated to determine if the adult understood it correctly.

Collaborate with kids

When discussing ways for kids to do better next time, include them in the dialogue. The adult can ask the child if they have any ideas on how the situation could be improved for the future. Including children in the decision making will help them be more invested in the result.

Set emotional boundaries

When talking to kids, it is important to be neutral and connected instead of overly emotional or anxious. By staying neutral, adults give kids a calming presence to help ground them. This also helps communication start off on an effective note.

Do you need help communicating better with your kids? Check out our page on challenging children: https://kzoofamilycounseling.com/index.php/jeff-laponsie-family-counseling/counseling-for-challenging-children-teens/

kalamazoo child therapy tantrum
Challenging children Parenting By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Tantrums – When Kids flip their lid

Ever find yourself lost as to why your child tantrums?  Maybe you’ve heard yourself saying (or pleading) to your child, “If you don’t stop crying right now, you’re really going to be in trouble,” or “Calm down!” It’s like the tantrum that your kid is in the middle of is a hostage negotiation. Needless to say you’ve probably felt like there are words coming out of your mouth, but your child isn’t hearing you. This frustrating experience where children are so deeply dysregulated they are not behaving rationally is very explainable. We need to compassionately consider how children manage big feelings and how their growing brains weigh pro’s and con’s, evaluate decisions and consider cause and effect.

Tantrums and the Brain

Consider Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain. The limbic system is the part of the brain that regulates arousal, mood and the fight-flight-freeze response everyone has. The front part of the brain regulates the limbic system, helping you think, “Is this a good idea?” “Will this get me in trouble?” “What will happen if I do this?”

Tantrums happen when children”flip their lid.”  When the emotional center of a child’s brain hijacks the front part of the brain.

For really wonderful reasons the limbic system is able to hijack the brain–taking charge until the brain’s threat is managed. This is wonderful in the event you come across a rattlesnake; you don’t think, “Hmm… I wonder if that is a friendly venomous snake.” No. You do a couple of things immediately to manage the danger in the moment without thinking.

Responding to Tantrums

Now, for children who are anxious or may have experienced something traumatic, or who otherwise have trouble tolerating big feelings, the threshold for the downstairs hijacking the brain is much lower. What is most important to consider is when children, as Dan Siegel puts it, have “flipped their lid” is that the parental response needs to be different because the part of the brain that responds to reason, and can consider negotiations, threats, pleas is not on-line.

If we know that the front part of the brain that handles rational thought is inhibited, or turned off, when kids are greatly dysregulated — the strategy of negotiating, pleading, bargaining will not work. The intervention then, as a parent, is helping your child learn to manage big feelings before they “flip their lid.” Parents must help their children calm down if the child’s limbic system has hijacked the front of the brain.

Helping children learn to name their big feelings and recover from emotional hijacking is important because it helps increase their ability to manage big feelings and learn the cues that their bodies are giving them that they’re about to flip their lid.  Check out previous blogs about when children tantrum, or when they are challenging.

 

 

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, Mattawan, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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Challenging children Parenting • By Jeffrey LaPonsie 0 Comments

Tantrums and Challenging Children

Challenging Child and Temper Tantrums

Does your child have sudden or frequent outbursts of anger or frequent tantrums? It can be difficult in the moment to think about how to help a child who’s having a tantrum.  It is easy for parents to get caught up in their own emotions:  like being frustrated or embarrassed that your child is acting like this or wondering what other people might think if they see your child acting like this.  Sometimes parents just feel helpless in the midst of their child’s outburst.  I often recommend to parents that its important to think about how you help your child while their tantruming in context of what we know about kids and their brains.

Dr. Daniel Siegel talks about the brain as having an upstairs and downstairs. The upstairs of the brain is the part of the brain is responsible for: decision making, planning evaluating decisions, empathy and morality.  Whereas the downstairs brain is responsible for: automatic reactions, and impulses (like fight/flight/freeze), and strong emotions like anger and fear.  Throughout childhood and into young adulthood the upstairs brain is under construction.  When challenging children tantrum the downstairs brain hijacks the upstairs brain.  Another way to think about upstairs and downstairs brain is to think about the accelerator (downstairs) and brakes (upstairs) of a car.

Here are three quick tips that parents should remember when their child is having a tantrum.

3 Ways to help children with tantrums:

Stay calm

Our brains work in pretty incredible ways. For example mirror neurons fire or activate in our brains in response to observing the behavior of others.  This means that our brain activates in a way that is similar to the person who we’re observing.  By being calm and grounded while your child is throwing a tantrum you will radiate to him safety and calmness that will help your child use the brakes of his or her brain.  Think of this as being an emotional anchor for you child while they are in the midst of their tantrum.

Avoid Negotiation or Threats

It very easy to try to appeal to children’s rational selves when they’re upset, or try to engage the upstairs the brain in negotiation –If you don’t stop screaming, you’re going to be grounded. It’s important to remember that when children are flooded with emotions (the accelerator is pedal to the metal) the brakes just don’t work.  In these moments parents need to be the brakes for their children, and focus on helping their child calm down to the point where they can engage the upstairs of their child’s brain.

Prepare for situations that are known to be difficult

In a previous post I talked about how challenging children aren’t challenging all of the time. There are times when they have difficulty and times when they don’t.  If we pay close attention to what precedes challenging episode, parents’ can predict situations that difficult for children.  For example, if you know your child has a difficult time transitioning from dance class to heading the car and going home you can plan additional ways to support him or her being successful: like by reminding him or her a few minutes before its time to leave, or by allowing extra time between transitions so not to have to rush.  When we plan for difficult situations we can help children be successful and reduce tantrums.

Sometimes parents benefit from support or coaching around managing behavior problems in young children.  PCIT or Parent-Child Interaction Therapy is an evidenced-based treatment for young children (2-7) with behavioral problems.

Reference:

Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. New York: Delacorte Press.

jeff laponsie LMSW kalamazoo

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

Read more