Child Counseling: How can I tell if my child should go to therapy?

So you’re thinking about counseling for your child, and you’re wondering, “Maybe it’s just phase,” or “It doesn’t seem that bad.”  By the nature of growing up, children are learning new things all of the time. With growth come bumps along the way.  Additionally, it can be difficult to tell if your child’s behaviors are normal and should cause no alarm, or if it might be time to talk to you child about counseling.  It can also be difficult to tell if a child is just going through a phase or if their emotional distress is normal. Most child counseling involves the family to some degree or another. At Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, we greatly stress the importance of parents being involved in their child’s counseling. Parents can think about their child’s life in three main areas to help determine if they might need counseling.

How does your child behave at home?

• Do you and your child fight? How intense are the fights?  How long does it take for your child to “bounce back?”
• Does your child frequently fight or argue with siblings? How intensely do they fight and how long does it take for your child to recover from these fights?
• Is your child withdrawn or isolating himself or herself from the family?
• Do you and your child have the relationship that you want?

Child and Family Counseling can help build relationships between parents and children or siblings with siblings. Additionally, evaluating how children do at home is important to think about when you are considering counseling for your child.  This is especially true because the relationships that children have with their parents is a profound predictor of how they do long term.

How does your child do socially and at school?

How children do at school and in their social groups is another thing that parents should think about when they’re considering counseling. Some questions that parents should ask themselves when wondering if they should take their child to counseling are:

• Is my child performing to his or her best abilities in school?
• Does he or she have trouble focusing?
• Does my child get into fights at school with peers or teachers?
• Does my child have a difficult time making friends?
• Do I routinely get notified of my child’s misbehavior at school?
• Does my child frequently skip or not put in effort at school?

How does your child do in his or her personal life?

Children’s mental health is often evaluated in the context of how they’re doing at school or with family.  Also, It is important to think about your child as an individual.  Here are some questions that parents should ask themselves about their child as well:

• Is my child generally sad or express general boredom like he or she is unable to be interested in anything?
• Does my child seem anxious or frequently worried? Does he or she sleep too little or too much?
• Does my child have poor self-esteem or lack confidence?
• Making the decision to take your child to counseling can be difficult. If your child is having problems with one or two of the problems listed above it would make sense to think about talking to a professional.

Here are some things that should always be taken seriously and indicate a more urgent need for child counseling:

1. Your child talks about wanting to die or commit suicide. Always take children talking about suicide seriously.  Call 911 or take your child to the nearest emergency room if you’re worried about your child’s safety.
2. Your child has disclosed being sexually abused.
3. Your child is using drugs or alcohol.
4. Your child is engaging in self-harming behavior (cutting/burning his or herself. Binging or restricting food, etc).

Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling offers child counseling in addition to support for frustrated parents.  Call or email for a free consultation.  Navigating these sorts of decisions is difficult and parents don’t need to do it alone.

Jeff LaPonsie LMSW

Jeff LaPonsie is a clinical social worker at Kalamazoo Child and Family Counseling, PLLC. He provides counseling to children and families in the Kalamazoo, Portage, and South West Michigan area. He is passionate about helping challenging children and frustrated parents. Jeff has over seven years of experience working with at risk youth. His clinical expertise includes working with children with behavioral, anxiety, attachment and trauma related disorders.

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