PRIDE Skills in PCIT: How to Use Them During Play

Sometimes the most powerful parenting skills happen during something as simple as playing together.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) teaches parents and caregivers specific skills for strengthening their relationship with their child while helping improve challenging behavior.

During the first phase of PCIT—called Child-Directed Interaction (CDI)—parents learn to follow their child’s lead during play and intentionally practice five relationship-building skills known as the PRIDE skills.

PRIDE stands for Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe, and Enjoy.

These skills may sound simple. The challenge is learning to use them intentionally and frequently while allowing your child to lead the play.

What Are the PRIDE Skills in PCIT?

The five PRIDE skills are:

P — Praise appropriate behavior

R — Reflect appropriate talk

I — Imitate appropriate play

D — Describe appropriate behavior

E — Enjoy your time together

PRIDE skills are taught during the Child-Directed Interaction phase of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy.

During CDI, the child leads the play while the parent practices giving positive attention and responding differently to the child’s behavior.

Let’s look at each skill.

P — Praise

Praise tells children exactly what they’re doing that you like.

In PCIT, parents learn to use labeled praise.

Instead of simply saying:

“Good job!”

tell your child exactly what they did well:

• “I like how gently you’re playing with those toys.”
• “Great job sharing the blocks with me.”
• “I love how carefully you’re coloring.”
• “Thank you for using such a calm voice.”

Why Is Labeled Praise Important?

Compare these two statements:

“Good job!”

and:

“Great job putting the blocks back in the box!”

The second statement gives the child much more information.

It identifies exactly what the parent noticed and which behavior received positive attention.

Labeled praise can be used to draw attention to behaviors parents want to see more often, including:

• Sharing
• Playing gently
• Using kind words
• Being patient
• Working independently
• Trying something difficult
• Using appropriate coping skills

Try to catch your child doing something right and tell them specifically what you noticed.

R — Reflect

A reflection means repeating or paraphrasing something your child says.

For example:

Child: “The dinosaur is going to the castle.”

Parent: “The dinosaur is going to the castle!”

Or:

Child: “I made a really tall tower.”

Parent: “You did make a really tall tower.”

Reflections communicate:

“I’m listening to you.”

Reflections Help Keep the Child in the Lead

Adults naturally ask children a lot of questions:

• “What are you building?”
• “What color is that?”
• “Where is the car going?”
• “What are you going to make next?”

Questions aren’t inherently bad.

But during child-led play, lots of questions can subtly put the adult back in charge of the interaction.

Instead of:

“What are you building?”

try:

“You’re building something with those blocks.”

Your child may respond:

“It’s a castle!”

Now you have something to reflect:

“It’s a castle!”

The child remains in charge of the play and conversation.

I — Imitate

Imitation means joining your child’s play by doing something similar to what they’re doing.

If your child is building a tower, build your own tower.

If your child is drawing a road, draw a road alongside them.

If your child is pretending to feed a stuffed animal, you might feed another stuffed animal.

Imitation communicates:

“What you’re doing is interesting to me.”

It also allows parents to participate without taking control of the play.

Follow Instead of Lead

This can be harder than it sounds.

Imagine your child puts a toy dinosaur inside a dump truck.

An adult might instinctively say:

“Dinosaurs don’t ride in dump trucks. Let’s put some rocks in there.”

During child-led play, try joining the child’s idea instead:

“Your dinosaur is riding in the dump truck!”

You might even put another dinosaur into another truck.

The goal isn’t to make the play realistic.

The goal is to enter your child’s world for a few minutes.

D — Describe

Behavior descriptions are sometimes described as “sportscasting.”

You simply describe what your child is doing.

For example:

• “You’re putting the blue block on top.”
• “You’re drawing a big circle.”
• “You put all three animals inside the barn.”
• “You’re pushing the train around the track.”

You aren’t asking a question.

You aren’t giving an instruction.

You’re simply noticing your child’s behavior out loud.

Why Describe What Your Child Is Doing?

Behavior descriptions give children positive attention while allowing them to remain in charge of the play.

They can also help parents slow down and really notice what their child is doing instead of immediately directing, correcting, or teaching.

Think of yourself as a sports announcer:

“You’re picking up the red block…now you’re putting it beside the blue one…you’re building that tower really carefully.”

Notice how easily PRIDE skills can begin working together.

That example included both descriptions and a labeled praise.

E — Enjoy

Enjoyment isn’t something you necessarily say.

It’s something your child experiences from you.

Show your child that you enjoy being with them.

That might include:

• Smiling
• Laughing together
• Using a warm voice
• Sitting close enough to be engaged
• Showing interest in what they’re doing
• Responding enthusiastically to their ideas

The message is simple:

“I like being with you.”

For children who receive frequent correction because of challenging behavior, having regular interactions centered around positive attention and connection can be particularly meaningful.

Putting the PRIDE Skills Together

Imagine your child is playing with blocks.

Child: “I’m making a house.”

Parent — Reflection: “You’re making a house!”

Your child puts a red block on top.

Parent — Description: “You’re putting the red block right on top.”

Your child carefully balances another block.

Parent — Praise: “I like how carefully you’re building your house.”

You pick up some blocks and begin building beside your child.

Imitation.

You smile, stay interested, and continue following their lead.

Enjoyment.

That’s PRIDE.

What Should Parents Do Less During Child-Led Play?

PRIDE skills are only part of Child-Directed Interaction.

Parents practicing CDI also learn to reduce behaviors that can take control of the interaction away from the child.

During child-led play, try to use fewer:

• Questions
• Commands
• Criticisms or negative talk

This doesn’t mean parents should never ask their children questions, give directions, or set limits.

Of course they should.

PCIT actually has an entire second phase—Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)—focused on effective commands, consistent limits, and predictable follow-through.

But during Child-Directed Interaction, we’re practicing something different:

Letting the child lead.

Turn Questions Into Descriptions

This is a great way to practice.

If you notice yourself asking lots of questions during play, see if you can turn some of them into reflections or descriptions.

Instead of:

“What color are you using?”

try:

“You’re using the purple crayon.”

Instead of:

“Are you building a tower?”

try:

“You’re doing a good job building that tower.”

Instead of:

“Where is the car going?”

try:

“You’re making the car drive really fast.”

You’re still talking with your child—you’ve simply stopped making them responsible for answering a steady stream of adult questions.

What Toys Work Well for PRIDE Skills?

Child-led play tends to work best with toys that allow children to be creative and give parents lots of opportunities to describe, imitate, and praise.

Examples include:

• Blocks
• Building toys
• Cars and simple vehicles
• Animals
• Play food
• Simple pretend-play toys
• Crayons and paper
• Age-appropriate craft materials

Activities with one correct answer or lots of rules can make following the child’s lead more difficult.

Electronic games, highly competitive games, and activities that require frequent adult assistance may also provide fewer opportunities to practice PRIDE skills.

Try Five Minutes of Child-Led Play

You don’t need to turn every interaction with your child into a therapy exercise.

Instead, try setting aside a short period of time when you intentionally practice following your child’s lead.

For five minutes:

• Let your child choose what to do with the available toys.
• Look for behaviors you can praise.
• Reflect what your child says.
• Imitate their play.
• Describe what they’re doing.
• Show them you’re enjoying the time together.
• Notice when you’re tempted to ask a question or give a direction.

Don’t worry about doing it perfectly.

These are skills, and skills improve with practice.

PRIDE Skills Are Part of PCIT—not All of PCIT

Parents sometimes come across PRIDE skills online and understandably think:

“So this is PCIT?”

PRIDE skills are an important part of PCIT, but PCIT involves considerably more than learning five parenting techniques.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy is a structured treatment in which a trained therapist observes parent-child interactions and coaches the caregiver in real time.

PCIT generally includes two major phases:

Child-Directed Interaction (CDI)

Parents learn skills—including PRIDE skills—that strengthen the parent-child relationship and increase positive attention while following the child’s lead.

Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)

Parents learn how to give effective instructions, establish appropriate limits, and follow through consistently.

The combination is important.

Children need both:

Connection and limits.

Families can learn more about the complete treatment on our Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) page.

Who Can Benefit From PCIT?

PCIT is an evidence-based treatment designed primarily for young children and their caregivers. PCIT International describes the standard model as particularly appropriate for children approximately ages 2–7 with concerns such as tantrums, defiance, aggression, difficulty following directions, and other disruptive behavior problems.

PCIT may be considered for families dealing with:

• Frequent tantrums
• Defiance
• Aggression
• Difficulty following directions
• Frequent parent-child power struggles
• Other challenging behaviors

Children with challenging behavior may also have ADHD, anxiety, trauma histories, developmental differences, or other concerns. An individualized assessment can help determine what is contributing to the behavior and which treatment approach is appropriate.

Parents can also read our guide to therapy for challenging behavior in children and our article about understanding Oppositional Defiant Disorder and challenging behavior.

PCIT in Kalamazoo

Kalamazoo Child & Family Counseling provides Parent-Child Interaction Therapy for young children and their caregivers.

Rather than simply talking with parents about what they should do differently at home, PCIT allows caregivers to practice skills with their child while receiving live coaching from a trained therapist.

This gives parents an opportunity to practice skills during real interactions—not just discuss them afterward.

Frequently Asked Questions About PRIDE Skills

What does PRIDE stand for in PCIT?

PRIDE stands for Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe, and Enjoy. These are relationship-building skills taught during the Child-Directed Interaction phase of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy.

What is labeled praise in PCIT?

Labeled praise specifically identifies the behavior the parent likes. Instead of simply saying “Good job,” a parent might say, “Great job sharing those blocks with me.” This helps the child understand exactly what behavior received positive attention.

What is a reflection in PCIT?

A reflection repeats or paraphrases something appropriate the child says. Reflections show children that their parent is listening while allowing the child to continue leading the conversation and play.

What is a behavior description in PCIT?

A behavior description is a statement describing what the child is doing, almost like a sports announcer. For example, “You’re putting the blue block on top of the red block.”

Why does PCIT encourage parents to ask fewer questions during play?

Questions can shift control of an interaction back to the adult because the child is expected to respond. During Child-Directed Interaction, parents practice following the child’s lead, so they learn to replace many questions with reflections and behavior descriptions.

Can I use PRIDE skills even if my child isn’t in PCIT?

Parents can use positive attention strategies such as labeled praise, reflection, imitation, and behavior descriptions during everyday interactions. However, learning PRIDE skills from an article is not the same as participating in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy, which includes assessment, structured treatment, skill practice, and live therapist coaching.

What age is PCIT for?

Traditional PCIT is primarily designed for young children, commonly around ages 2–7, and their caregivers. Whether PCIT is appropriate for a particular child depends on the child’s development, behavior, family circumstances, and treatment needs.

Is PCIT just play therapy?

No. Play is used extensively during Child-Directed Interaction, but PCIT is a structured parent-training treatment involving live coaching of the caregiver. The second phase, Parent-Directed Interaction, focuses on effective instructions, limits, and consistent follow-through.

Reviewed by the clinical team at Kalamazoo Child & Family Counseling. Last reviewed: September 22, 2026.